AloneinthechapelofhopeonChristmasEveReverendBernicehatesChristmassincehermotherwascarriedoffbyPapaLazaroudisguisedasSantaClauswhenshewasachild.Shehasthreevisitors.ThefirstisCharlieHullconvincedfromhisrecurringnightmarethathiswifeStellaisusingavoodoocovencalledtheSolutionstostophimwinningtheline-dancecontest.ThenanoldmanwhovisitedHerrLippandhiswifein1975recountsthesagaofLipp’sfascinationwithcuteyoungchoirboyMatthewandhisbeliefthatLippwasavampire.FinallyChinnerycomestounburdenhimselfastowhyheissuchabadvet.InVictoriantimeshisgreat-great-grandfatherthefinestvetinEnglandcametoRoystonVaseybutwastrickedintotouchingthewrongmonkey’stesticleasaresultofwhichallsucceedingvetsinthefamilyhavebeencursed.BernicefeelshappierafterconsolingChinnerybutsheisunawarethathistoryisabouttorepeatitself.